The Filthy Four
Posted by on March 27, 2006 at 11:48 AM
After a weekend of buzzer beaters, blowouts, heartbreak, and euphoria, the "Unsweet Sixteen" has been whittled down to the "Filthy Four." There are no feel good cindarella stories in the field, just a collection of the corrupt. Here are the finalists and how they got there.
For a refresher, here are the original brackets. You can also find the pre-game analysis here and here.
The Bush Adminstration Bracket
Because these games were played in secret location and without oversight of any kind, it's very difficult to report on how Vice President Dick Cheney emerged from the high-powered field. Cheney's the kind of player that won't give up even when the world is telling him he just can't go on. His early training at Halliburton--a company that did business with Iraq when he was CEO and was investigated for their ties to Iran in 2004--created the take-no-prisoners attitude that's made him such an asset to the Bush Administration. And after a series of failed predictions that would have stopped more seasoned players in their tracks, Cheney just keeps moving forward. He led his teammates in a pre-war game plan that was breathtaking in its brazenness, but fell apart when it came time to implement it. He said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction--when he didn't. He said that Al Qaeda was linked to Iraq--when they weren't. Just nine months after he said the Iraqi insurgents were "in their last throes" the country teeters on the brink of civil war. And now, even though the Iraqi police have been infiltrated by the very insurgent forces they are trying to control, Cheney continues to see victory within his grasp.
The House Bracket
Just as Josh and I predicted, Bob Ney came out of Ohio to upset some bigger names in the House bracket, including Tom DeLay and Duke Cunningham. Ney was known as the "Mayor of Capitol Hill," until he was forced to step down after being identified as Representative #1 in Jack Abramoff's Federal plea bargain. Ney is comfortable playing on the road as well--he to play his first round game in a federal prison to accomodate the Duke-Stir's travel "limitations," and he's traveled to Scotland with Jack Abramoff and sent his staff to the Marianas Islands. Whether he's granting federal contracts to the clients of his political patrons or using the congressional floor as a commercial for Jack Abramoff's casino cruise line, Ney is well recognized as a power player who relentlessly uses his position to box out the competition. The fact that Ney has been able to keep it together and is even running for reelection despite the steadily closing net of a Federal investigation has shocked political insiders.
Senate Bracket
Don't let his cool demeanor fool you, Bill Frist is a serious competitor whose killer instincts were honed during his early days in medical school, when he repeatedly adopted cats from local animal shelters, pretended to give them homes, and then used them to practice his surgical skills. But there's no question that despite the ice water in his veins, Frist has repeatedly choked when it counted as Senate Majority Leader. He failed to get the job done for Bush on the Dubai Ports World deal; he failed to pass asbestos reform after declaring it to be the Senate's "top priority"; he couldn't block the extension of the Patriot Act, open up ANWR to drilling, or get Harriet Miers confirmed; and his efforts to ensure he could limit debate on judicial nominations were thwarted by members of his own party. Of course, his recent failure to focus on his long game may be because he's distracted by the ballooning investigation into his recent sale of $10 to $30 million of HCA stock--a sale of stock that he didn't know he had to prevent a conflict of interest he previously said didn't exist.
Pioneers and Rangers Bracket
The early favorite of the corruption tournament, Jack Abramoff, is a strong inside player (with at least a few Republican Members of Congress, and a certain President) who uses his domination of the paint to get what he wants for his lobbying clients--after keeping a bit for himself, of course. Abramoff has spent 20 years working in Republican politics preparing for this tournament--though some whisper behind closed doors that he paid his way into the tournament, much like he paid his way into the White House. Abramoff might be a bit distracted since he is busy cooperating with the FBI, but since he just got his sentencing postponed in his Florida fraud case, so there's no reason he shouldn't be fresh for the tournament. With the $20 million he bilked from Indian tribes, the $3.41 million he invested in campaign contributions for Republican Congressman and Senators, the quality time he spent on overseas trips with Congressmen and their staff, and the clandestine White House meetings with President Bush and Karl Rove, there's no question that Abramoff can dominate this tournament. If Abramoff brings his A game, everyone else might be playing for second place.
Comments (25) «
About Frist:
"... he repeatedly adopted cats from local animal shelters, pretended to give them homes, and then used them to practice his surgical skills.
Whoa! I have to say I didn't know about this one... somehow that story got by me... can anyone provide a reference? I can hardly believe this guy is still in office with a history like this.
Thanks!
Democratic Victory in Congress 2006!
The filthy "rich" four?
Let's see we have war profiteering vs. insider trading vs. briberty vs. lobbyist special interest corruption. They sure have an agenda all Americans can vote on in November.
I still think Barbara Bush should be the winner. Contributing to a Katrina charity only if the money goes to her son Neil Bush's software company puts her at the top of the corruption garbage heap.
I love good satire, and the "filthy four" is priceless political satire with the great funny graphics and soundly documented explanation piece. A great feature Tim. You outdid yourself!
PROGRESSIVE VALUES
Bill Frist Link
Frist acknowledged in a 1989 book that he routinely killed cats while an ambitious medical student at Harvard Medical School in the 1970s. His office said it had no record on how many cats died. Frist disclosed that he went to animal shelters and pretended to adopt the cats, telling shelter personnel he intended to keep them as pets. Instead he used them to sharpen his surgical skills, killing them in the process.
He later apologized.
Hilarious, just brilliant. Is that thing about the cats really true? I've completely lost the ability to discern satire when it comes to these guys.
LPosted by TimTagaris on March 27, 2006 at 02:16 PM
WOW... thanks Tim!
..now let's see if it comes up during his campaign... I can see the "Ethical Vets for the Truth" ads already!
Kevorkian has nothing on this "Dr. Death."
Where's KARL ROVE???
Without Rove, there's no Bush White House...
Maybe he deserves his own bracket...
And Big Oil, Pharma, the neocons, gosh, where to end?
oooo, I forgot the Christian Taliban...
I believe the best way to get the attention of our electorate this November is to start a campaign to with-hold donations to the campaigns of representatives who plan to reward foreigners who are illegally working in our country. Our electorate apparently do not know how much the average American worker has given up in wages due to our governments refusal to enforce our border and immigration laws. I have been a devoted Democrat for over 10 years now but am afraid I am seeing too much compromise and too little leadership. Do you really believe voters will elect someone who's well practiced at bending over?
John H. Eblen, Tallmadge, ohio
Why punish the victims? Most illegal immigrants are coming to this country because of the damage the so-called "free" trade agreements have done to their county's ecomony.
When "free" trade agreements destroy farm econimies in third world countries by saturating their markets with subsidized grain from huge US agribusinesses, and use the surplus of labor this creates in those countries to keep wages barely at, or below the cost of living, then you must expect that people will try to go to another country to try to find a way to make enough money for their families to survive.
Starvation is no option for anyone.
American workers are not hungry enough, yet, to take over those jobs that immigrants do, even though many American workers are now working more than one job to survive.
The reason that immigrant workers are able to do the shit-work jobs is that many of them leave their families in Mexico where the cost of living is much lower than here, group together to share rent on a house or apartment in a low cost (slum) area, and scrimp on food, medical care, and non-necessities in order to send money home.
Those families who come do much the same thing with multi-generational households and extended families (aunts, uncles, cousins) sharing a space that Americans consider a single nuclear family dwelling.
Let's see a group of American workers live like that.
The Republicans and the Bush administration whined and accused Democrats of "racism" when we protested our ports being taken over by a foreign company which was owned by a government who was known to support our enemies.
Now the Republicans and the Reubli-lites are showing their racist colors by wanting to punish people for being born on the "wrong" side of a border and trying to escape the disaster caused by NAFTA, which these people didn't vote for.
2006.03.28 Tue 09:32:38
All this Democrat talk about Republican/Corporate America corruption, scandals, evil, etc. is not getting anywhere as long as those who continually rob America blind (Republicans/Corporate America) control the voices and therefore the hearts & minds of the masses by controlling the media--especially their control of their most powerful propaganda machines: television & radio. And now, they're trying their damndest (using their fear-mongering tactics & their new & phony DICTATORIAL CONTROL tools, "The Patriot Act" & "The Millennium Copyright Protection Act" [thanks Bill, you weren't being a Democrat when you signed this Corporate America power grab into law]) to control the last vestiges of a voice of freedom: the Internet. My point is that the FIRST ORDER OF “BUSINESS” for us Democrats should NOT be in using what limited media resources we currently have to attempt to “ridicule” the criminal Republicans. Republicans will ALWAYS be criminals. EVERYBODY knows that--and even actually EXPECTS that. The criminal Republicans must hilariously revel when we Democrats waste our valuable & limited media resources on trying to point out Republican/Corporate America criminal behavior. INSTEAD, Democrats need to ATTACK Corporate America/Republican control & power grabs of media resources & make these resources truly “free” from any kind of propaganda bias that has continuously been spoon-fed & eagerly lapped-up to mostly air-headed “constituents” for the past five DECADES. Only a “balanced control” or ownership of media resources will result in a truly free, “democratic” society. Until then, Democrats will continually be chasing a “dog” they never will catch: freedom. And Americans will continually be propagandized that their lives are “good” (while their wages, healthcare, freedom, Social Security, etc.) all slowly disappear to the Republican/Corporate America “money-transferring machine” through such novel ideals as “freedom for _____ (fill in blank with the name of ANY country EXCEPT America)” & the wars they create explicitly for transferring TRILLIONS (G.W. Bush=2.5 TRILLION DOLLARS TO DATE) of our American taxpayer dollars (and future) to Republican/Corporate American entities (such as Halliburton, et al). So, Democratic leaders, KEEP THE BODY COUNTS (including the American wounded) in the headlines (I know it’s impossible because you don’t control the media) when you can every chance you can, & don’t waste valuable media exposure on such things as known Republican/Corporate America criminal behavior: you’re playing the Republicans’ & Corporate America’s “game” when you do that. They just laugh at you & continue on with their evil.
2006.03.28 Tue 10:04:01
Wow! I had no idea that there was so much competition! I figured earlier in the season that Delay was a shoe in for the house? Who would have thought that Ney could put it together like he did? I guess timing is everything.I can almost look back fondly now at the Reagan years in comparison.Iran-Contra,HUD,Savings&Loans,these guys played at such a low level in comparison!This satirical message has been brought to you by the independent players association.P.S. It`s so comforting to see Ollie North go from drug runner/arms dealer to newscaster for MSNBC.It really makes you feel like the news media is so unbiased!
I'm surprised that Tom DeLay's candy ass didn't win the House Bracket. Oh well, all the Repooplicans wiil burn in Hell for all the f**king bullshit they caused.
I'm surprised that Tom DeLay's candy ass didn't win the House Bracket. Oh well, all the Repooplicans wiil burn in Hell for all the f**king bullshit they caused.
What scares the crap out of me is how the Democrats are quite likely to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory here. Loved the Gingrich "Had enough?" comment in Time mag, and that's great as a slogan, but WHAT is it that Democrats stand for? It seems there's a huge disconnect between the Washington insider Democratic leadership and the Party's grassroots. There's no clear ideology from the Democrats, there's no vision, no plan that a voter can hitch their wagon to. There's only this constant whinning about Republican "incompetence, arrogance and corruption," as if the problems spring from managerial failures and not from a flawed and destructive mission or vision, i.e, ideology, the road. Like it or not THAT's what voters have been responding to from the Repukes over the past twenty years. VISION! Who wants to vote for a Republican-lite Democrat when they can vote for the real thing by voting for a Republican? Every time a Democrat in Congress gets the balls to speak out or take action against the unconstitutional outrages and failures of the Republicans, his/her fellow Democrats back away or outright attack their Democratic colleague. What's up with that? The ones doing this are the DLC, the Democratic Leadership Council people, the one's who got Bill Clinton elected. Clinton, although I voted for him, was really a moderate Republican in many very essential ways. He was no liberal. Don't be fooled by labels. Watch what policies get promulgated and passed. Clinton gave us NAFTA, the Don't Ask Don't Tell debacle, he failed on universal healthcare (as did his Republican-lite wife), he signed the first Defense of Marriage bill. The immigrant problem is the result of American corporate greed that has been elevated to the status of a divine right, trumping individual rights. (This is essentially because the Corporation was defined by the Supreme Court in 1887(?) as a "citizen" with the same rights as individual citizens.) I submit that the Democratic leadership has not been an effective "opposition" party to the current leadership in the Executive and Legislative branches, not because they don't have power (they derive their power from the people afterall), but because they essentially AGREE with the Republican positions on most issues. It comes down for most of them to a question of competence in management, not a lack of vision of what needs to be done to extend the blessings of a free Republic to all its citizens. Not being able to obtain adequate healthcare is a punishment, not a blessing, for example. Being financially wiped out from a long illness, caring for a sick family member and then not being allowed to obtain bankruptcy protection is a punishment, not a blessing. Having to pay premium prices and exorbitant bank fees and fines because one is a member of the working poor is a punishment, not a blessing. Being killed or maimed for life in an outrageous and illegal war which we started is a punishment, not a blessing. The Democratic Leadership has had little to say about the "legality" of the war. They always couch their statements in terms of the incompetence in executing the war. Hillary was and is in favor of the war. She just thinks she can do a better job at executing it. The Democatic candidates running for offices all over the country for the next election run the gamut of political, social and economic beliefs and views. There is no vision here, no direction and if and when the "Democrats" obtain power again will it be Democratic incompetence, arrogance and corruption?
One down (Abramoff), four to go.
Ok Cunningham is now out and perhaps in jail. What the heck happens to all those big corps who bribed him???? No punishment for bribing nowadays???
Ok Cunningham is now out and perhaps in jail. What the heck happens to all those big corps who bribed him???? No punishment for bribing nowadays???
Hey My Fellow Democrats,
Jack Abramoff's candy ass got 5 years prison for his bullshit. If you asked me, they should have given him a longer sentence. Just remember my fellow Democrats, THE ONLY GOOD REPOOPLICAN IS A DEAD REPOOPLICAN.
Hmmm....Didn't Harry Reid, Tom Daschle,Richard Gephardt, Dorgan, and Harkin also have dealings with Abramoff's firm? I remember a little story about how Reid refused to give back $62,000 he had recieved from Abramoff.
And then Howard Dean says:
"There are no Democrats who took money from Jack Abramoff, not one, not one single Democrat. Every person named in this scandal is a Republican. Every person under investigation is a Republican. Every person indicted is a Republican. This is a Republican finance scandal. There is no evidence that Jack Abramoff ever gave any Democrat any money. And we've looked through all of those FEC reports to make sure that's true."
Frist doing surgery on cats? As far as sordid pasts go that pales in comparison to your hero Ted Kennedy leaving a drowning woman in the river to go sleep in his buddy's car.
Give me a break.
Robert complained about Jack Abramoff only getting 5 years. Remember, this was only for wire fraud in the Florida case. It was the least serious charge against the scum bag.
Your work, Governor Dean, to organize the Democratic Party is amazing .... and thank you for putting it together and early enough to make a difference.
However, a well organized party without a program is not what our country needs. It is time for the Democratic Party to come up with a plan... not just a list ... to address the problems of our country. What are the ways the party is considering of dealing with the Iraqi situation? How does the party plan to deal with the health care problems? education? The four you name are a filthy four but it is time to move beyond them with plans and a program.
I am not willing to put more time into campaigning until I can take out with me some positive plans of where the Democratic party envisions taking us. The example coming out from my state of PA is not positive. Putting Casey up against Santurum is not putting forth new and courageous ideas. But that is what we need. Do the Democrats dare go there?
Thank you for giving mew this opportunity to express my deep concerns.
I think Kennedy and Fienstein should be one of the top four "dirty" corporate politicians. Actualy almost all poiticians are corporate slave traders. I can't even think of four politicians who are for American citizen workers. I can only think of one, Tom Tancredo. I challenge you to name thre Democrats who put working American first. Before you name them go to http://numbersusa.com and check out how they voted. I couldn't find anyone besides Tancredo who got an "A" from them. They are a good organization. Check them out, nothing but the facts.
In Ohio winning by conventional means cannot happen until the touch screen voting machines are gone. Stalin's quote "It does not matter who you vote for, it matters who counts the vote". A lawsuit(or other means) to stop the use of partisan programable voting machines is necessary. The sooner the better to allow time for the alternatives to be in place.
Okay, crap like this is a waste of the money we donate. Stop trying to be clever and come up with a plan to win the House and Senate. Stuff like this is B.S. time-wasters. Cut the crap and acting like you work in politics for a living, not college-aged stoners who think they're funny when they're not.
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