Sorry for the length of this one...
A few years ago, my son finished a chapter in World History about the Forty Years War. I believe the battlefield stretched from West to East Europe, and also involved religious zealots, entwined with governments, power, wealth, and armies, who were on a mission from God to seize the others' territories.
When it ended, there was no victory for any of the combattants. No one won. All that remained were tons of dead and wounded, traumatized families, starvation, disease, and destruction of societies and their economic structures that compounded the existing chaos. Sound familiar?
I can see that there are times when it would be necessary to fight, and finding that line can be difficult and hard to define. However, there are also times when hubris prevents diplomatic communication... dialog that could prevent a situation from reaching a boiling point. There are definitely times when there is a pretense of following a course of diplomacy, but there is no intention for it to be successful. (i.e. the lead up into Iraq.)
We might never have known that Iran has made numerous attempts to engage Washington in direct dialog, but that they were rebuffed by our government. I don't know what the real situation is in Iran, execpt for what I read, but I just think there could be progress made if there was mutual effort to do so and a willingness to speak with honesty, Dialog has the chance to tone down inflammatory rhetoric, and hopefully to educate where there is so much ignorance and misguided animosity. I can't help thinking that sanctions are perceived more like an authority figure publicly scolding a child for not doing as he was told -- which might tend to further inflame a proud country's anger and more intensely resist a better course of action.
I know this is labeled naive and psycho babble... but people tend to accept the sarcastic bait because they don't want to look "soft on terror." They begin to associate rational thought during a crisis as being weak. Oddly, it takes more skill, fortitude, and intelligence to prevent war and to solve conflicts. It takes a person of strong character who can listen to all sides and to communicate with people with whom you don't necessarily agree.
I am not surprised that people are mistrustful, because we do not see real attempts at sincere diplomacy to supplement the efforts by the soldiers who are trying to bring security where none exists. Instead of doing everything to calm sectarian strife, the policy seems to be playing both ends of the conflict and wratcheting up the rhetoric against Iraq's neighbors, further inflaming the area. Could regional chaos be a policy objective? Well deserved mistrust of the Bush Administration makes the unthinkable, thinkable. What a tragedy.