it is hard for me to remember where it came from.

it was somewhere along the path where i was grasping your memoir and reading over my notes from history of american women honors. somewhere, nestled in the middle of my college trips around campus and the resonating idea that you, no matter what office, would constantly be present in history lessons and my life.

that was the moment, and it sparked after the first debate. you were so intelligent and so knowledgeable. so ready to speak, so willing to elaborate. witty, sweet, warm. that has never left me.

hillary, i've spent the past 15 months mulling over your name and your prospects. i was born into your husband's democracy; into economic surplus and a peaceful nation. a handful of years after i realized i adored the 60's culture, we were swept into a war that gave me a chance to finally don the ideas of peace and love.

your presidency was the first i would vote for.
yours was the first candidacy i could support without adults rubbing my head, thinking it was "cute" that i could recite iraq war discrepancies, health care problems, and societal concerns without an adult holding my hand.
you were the first candidate i ever threw my hands up for.
you were the woman i supported, and will continue to support, in a historic bid for the most important job in the world, all before i turned 18.

i supported you when my friends told me it wasn't cool. when they laughed in my face and when they went on and on about his youthfulness, his humor, his charm. i supported you amidst the sexism that permeates our daily lives. i supported you through the constant muckraking of your life, through the insults hurled at your personality and your heart.

because i knew better.

hillary, you are one of the most inspiring figures i've stumbled across in a lifetime. you're strong, independent, and comfortable. friendly, lovely, with tenacity and grace. you're intelligent, capable, skilled, and knowledgeable. you have lived, and will continue to live, one of the most historical lives in history- a woman who rose from the sexism of the baby boomers to achieve first lady status, a senate seat; to change the way americans worked on healthcare, on the war.

as you led, i followed. you made me realize that girls like me shouldn't hide ambition. all of the people i have mourned losing over my mind seemed so shallow and insignificant. you taught me to reach for the stars and never let anyone tell you when the dream was over.

last time i wrote you, hillary, i told you this was my dream as well. i told you we were all behind you. i stand by that. miss clinton, you have given me something i cannot express in words. you have truly affected my life, my passion, and my mind. you have given me drive, motivation, strength, and independence of spirit. you have taught me how to keep my optimism in the face of defeat and you have forced me to learn to look inward for peace.

your campaign has shown me the true heights of character.

hillary, i'm not ready for this dream to be over.

love, carmen.

PS- i'll probably keep updating this throughout. i have a lot to say to you.