Okay, so I am a genius. This is what we do:

So everyone is naturally full of shit right? A week before election day we get every single person who ever voted for Bush to take a very potent laxative which would result in an environmental disaster. Obama being more talented at environmental issues, then sweeps in and saves the nation from the mudslide and gains a landslide victory. The plan is flawless and symbolic on so many levels.