In Honor of Memorial Day
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| Also listed in: Hillary Is All That And A Bag of Chips! |
I don't want to get too personal, so I will try to be concise.
My father served in WWII. He told them he was 18, when he was really 17, so he could enlist. He survived.
He met my mother in 1956, I think, he was 13 years her senior. My mom was 18 and he was 31. Twelve years later I was concieved and then 20 months after me, my sister. I found out later that he left his wife and 3 kids (I have 2 half sisters and 1 half brother I have never met)for my mother. I don't even know if they know I exist. He did not keep in touch as far as I know & I wouldn't dare ask about them when I learned about this...otherwise severe and harsh results would arise.
Sometime after the war, he earned a degree in engineering. Although he was not enlisted when I was born, I grew up with very high standards to live up to. Without getting into details, basically child abuse. I'm not talking about a spanking or going off on your kid once in a while verbally and then saying you are sorry. I am talking about serious issues. Basically, when I look back, it was a severe military style relationship instead of father-daughter.
My parents divorced when I was 10 b/c of his abuse and control issues aimed towards me and my mother. He barely kept any contact, we spoke off and on throughout the years. I tried to really create a bond when I became a young adult (28) after my mother and husband died. I really needed help, but he was not there for me. He even told me that he has a new family now...since he had remarried and she had children and grandchildren. That is when I decided that for my own sanity, I cannot continue this relationship b/c it is one sided. Hurt too much. I have not spoke to him since, don't know where he lives or if he is alive, and he has not tried to find me. This hurts me mostly because of my children, I can handle it at this point, but it's my kids that I really feel for.
Anyway, my point in all this is that war hurts people in more ways than just death. In hindsight, I realized that his experience in WWII caused him to act abnormally, and of course there wasn't the concern about PTS or depression like there is now. Even now, mental health issues are pretty much not addressed by our government or healthcare system. If they were, we wouldn't have all these crimes and homeless people.
There was only one time that my father would talk about the war. He was in Germany with his troop, sneaking through the forest, they were looking for Nazis. Apparently, unbeknownst to them, the Germans were right around the corner doing the same thing, looking for Ally troops.
They caught each other off guard, it was a stalemate, if they had fired on each other, ALL of them would have died on both sides. My father said to me, that without words, they all just looked at each other for a few moments (which for them probably seemed like a lifetime) and then in an unspoken language, both sides turned in the opposite and walked away from each other and headed in a different direction.
Noone wanted to die.
That is the only story I ever heard.
Men in my family have served in many wars. I was a victim of war in a way. I never had a 'father.' As much as this hurt me, I can only say that although I don't like my father, I love him and he taught me many things at a young age that I probably shouldn't have needed to know about then, but as an adult are useful. Even my late husband was affected in somewhat the same way my father was. He was in the Navy. They come out with myriad of mental issues; anger management, disassociation, depression, and the list could go on. But I am a firm believer in what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Luckily, at least for me that was the case.
So, in conclusion, do I like or want war? Absolutely NOT.
Is war necessary? I beleive it is a necessary evil, otherwise how would we have this great country now that we all are so proud of and worried about?
Humanity has been fighting in battles, wars, feuds, whatever you want to call it, since the beginning of mankind. It will never change....there is a reason for the the old addage "the strong survive". In an ideal world, of course that would be great for all of the world to be in peace and harmony....will it? I don't think I will see it in my lifetime, hopefully in my children's, but really, I don't think we can ever achieve total and complete peace on Earth.
When the Bush admnistration said that there were WMD in Iraq, and they were still using them, and the possibility that it could grow to an even bigger danger, as the leader of the most powerful empire of the world, I felt it was our duty to stop genocide and acts of terror and torture to any human or living creature on Earth. The whole civilized world should intervene. But we were lied to in order for the empire to have an excuse to further control the Middle East b/c of our crippling dependency on oil. You know, I could almost accept if the politicians were honest with us and said 'hey, we are going down if we don't occupy a strategic point somewhere in the Middle East'. But even now, they continue to patronize us by making up some lame excuse that they had been given faulty info. yeah, right!
Anyway, my experience with this and many other military realated issues still will never convince me that there is no reason for war. From the bottom of my heart, I deeply commend and respect those who have served with loyalty and honor to better our country, as well as the world. I also will always have a place in my heart for those of us 'second-hand' victims that have indirectly suffered from the ravages of war. I will never say war is stupid, because if I did, it would disrespect and underestimate the lives that were lost or destryoed to build everything we take for granted today.
Peace be Upon You
My father served in WWII. He told them he was 18, when he was really 17, so he could enlist. He survived.
He met my mother in 1956, I think, he was 13 years her senior. My mom was 18 and he was 31. Twelve years later I was concieved and then 20 months after me, my sister. I found out later that he left his wife and 3 kids (I have 2 half sisters and 1 half brother I have never met)for my mother. I don't even know if they know I exist. He did not keep in touch as far as I know & I wouldn't dare ask about them when I learned about this...otherwise severe and harsh results would arise.
Sometime after the war, he earned a degree in engineering. Although he was not enlisted when I was born, I grew up with very high standards to live up to. Without getting into details, basically child abuse. I'm not talking about a spanking or going off on your kid once in a while verbally and then saying you are sorry. I am talking about serious issues. Basically, when I look back, it was a severe military style relationship instead of father-daughter.
My parents divorced when I was 10 b/c of his abuse and control issues aimed towards me and my mother. He barely kept any contact, we spoke off and on throughout the years. I tried to really create a bond when I became a young adult (28) after my mother and husband died. I really needed help, but he was not there for me. He even told me that he has a new family now...since he had remarried and she had children and grandchildren. That is when I decided that for my own sanity, I cannot continue this relationship b/c it is one sided. Hurt too much. I have not spoke to him since, don't know where he lives or if he is alive, and he has not tried to find me. This hurts me mostly because of my children, I can handle it at this point, but it's my kids that I really feel for.
Anyway, my point in all this is that war hurts people in more ways than just death. In hindsight, I realized that his experience in WWII caused him to act abnormally, and of course there wasn't the concern about PTS or depression like there is now. Even now, mental health issues are pretty much not addressed by our government or healthcare system. If they were, we wouldn't have all these crimes and homeless people.
There was only one time that my father would talk about the war. He was in Germany with his troop, sneaking through the forest, they were looking for Nazis. Apparently, unbeknownst to them, the Germans were right around the corner doing the same thing, looking for Ally troops.
They caught each other off guard, it was a stalemate, if they had fired on each other, ALL of them would have died on both sides. My father said to me, that without words, they all just looked at each other for a few moments (which for them probably seemed like a lifetime) and then in an unspoken language, both sides turned in the opposite and walked away from each other and headed in a different direction.
Noone wanted to die.
That is the only story I ever heard.
Men in my family have served in many wars. I was a victim of war in a way. I never had a 'father.' As much as this hurt me, I can only say that although I don't like my father, I love him and he taught me many things at a young age that I probably shouldn't have needed to know about then, but as an adult are useful. Even my late husband was affected in somewhat the same way my father was. He was in the Navy. They come out with myriad of mental issues; anger management, disassociation, depression, and the list could go on. But I am a firm believer in what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Luckily, at least for me that was the case.
So, in conclusion, do I like or want war? Absolutely NOT.
Is war necessary? I beleive it is a necessary evil, otherwise how would we have this great country now that we all are so proud of and worried about?
Humanity has been fighting in battles, wars, feuds, whatever you want to call it, since the beginning of mankind. It will never change....there is a reason for the the old addage "the strong survive". In an ideal world, of course that would be great for all of the world to be in peace and harmony....will it? I don't think I will see it in my lifetime, hopefully in my children's, but really, I don't think we can ever achieve total and complete peace on Earth.
When the Bush admnistration said that there were WMD in Iraq, and they were still using them, and the possibility that it could grow to an even bigger danger, as the leader of the most powerful empire of the world, I felt it was our duty to stop genocide and acts of terror and torture to any human or living creature on Earth. The whole civilized world should intervene. But we were lied to in order for the empire to have an excuse to further control the Middle East b/c of our crippling dependency on oil. You know, I could almost accept if the politicians were honest with us and said 'hey, we are going down if we don't occupy a strategic point somewhere in the Middle East'. But even now, they continue to patronize us by making up some lame excuse that they had been given faulty info. yeah, right!
Anyway, my experience with this and many other military realated issues still will never convince me that there is no reason for war. From the bottom of my heart, I deeply commend and respect those who have served with loyalty and honor to better our country, as well as the world. I also will always have a place in my heart for those of us 'second-hand' victims that have indirectly suffered from the ravages of war. I will never say war is stupid, because if I did, it would disrespect and underestimate the lives that were lost or destryoed to build everything we take for granted today.
Peace be Upon You
