And all this time I thought Dick Cheney was an old, bald guy with a scary monotone voice who has a failing heart and a blood clot in his leg. A guy who eats too much red meat, can't dance and likes to eat the heads of bats on Saturday nights just for kicks. But y'know, Senator Clinton is right -- Cheney really IS like Darth Vader!

Case in point: Most humans would be unable to withstand the cold, oxygen-free environment of outer space. Fortunately, Cheney quit breathing years ago and his cold-blooded vascular system only requires two heartbeats per year.

Darth Vader may have the Sith, but just one wrong step and Cheney'll call in his OWN storm troopers. Only his don't wear white jump suits and wield ray guns. They wear red, white and blue and have nuclear bombs. These colors don't run!

While Vader has the Force, Cheney has mastered the art of the evil death stare. Just ask any unlucky reporter who goes too far in asking about his lesbian daughter.

As for Vader's lightsaber, it's no match for Cheney's shotgun. I'm sure Harry Whittington will vouch for that!  Plus, Vader killed his generals who failed. Remember the names Shinseki and Abizaid?

However, a glaring DIFFERENCE between Cheney and Vader is this: in the end, Vader came back to the good side. Well it certainly doesn't look like Cheney is on THAT path.